> In our ongoing effort to protect the doctrinal chastity of web-savvy Christians, we are pleased to introduce the internet’s first DOCTRINAL PROPHYLACTIC.
Now you can feel confident that visits to an emerging church website or blog will not harm your sound thinking, and embarrass you during Sunday School discussions.
You can now gaze upon differing theological viewpoints with impunity. Never again will you be tempted to question what you already believe. Using state-of-the-art propriety technology, our patented (patent applied for) theological condom blocks offensive doctrines.
Emerging church discussion boards and blogs are rife with STD’s (Startling Theological Digressions). Emerging church heresies are extremely contagious. Your perfect doctrine can be contaminated by viewing as few as 14 words from emerging church writers.
Available in assorted neon colors, or classic non-ribbed silver (shown)